The decision to file for a divorce is always difficult since it is a stressful and emotionally draining process for all parties involved. Who asks for divorce more often? Even though marriage dissolution is typically more challenging psychologically and financially for women, in heterosexual relationships, it is commonly a woman who initiates divorce.
According to the American Sociological Association, in almost 70% of cases, females decide to take measures and start the dissolution process. There are different aspects affecting who files for divorce more in the county. Some claim that divorce always favors the woman as she will likely receive more rights in parenting questions and more privileges during property division, making her more confident in filing with the court. However, this is not always the case.
In this article, we will look closer at the reasons why divorces initiated by a wife happen more often than those started by a husband.
Who Files for Divorce More in the U.S.?
If you try searching online the percentage of divorces initiated by women, you will see the results close to 70%. Among college-educated women, these numbers are even higher – around 90 percent of divorces initiated by a wife.
The rise in female divorce initiation statistics is affected by various circumstances. Among the main ones is the fact that nowadays, more and more women become financially independent. If, in the past, wives didn’t have opportunities to make their own money since they took care of children most of the time, modern women join the workforce quite often. They become capable of providing for themselves and their children. Therefore, nothing keeps them in the relationships that exhaust them, affecting the state statistics on who initiates divorce in most cases.
However, the financial aspect is not the only reason compelling women to file for divorce. There are other factors, or a combination of them, that contribute to the fact that around 34% of marriages end in divorce, which is commonly a wife’s initiative. Below, you will find an overview of them.
Reasons Why Women Initiate Divorce
The post-divorce period often hits women harder than men. The study on the demographics by the Duke University Press reveals that many females risk reaching the poverty line after going through a marriage dissolution. So, why do women initiate divorce, even if it has serious consequences for them?
The reasons women divorce men are numerous. They relate to unmet needs, husband’s unfaithfulness, physical and emotional abuse, different interests, lack of support, etc. So why do women divorce men? Below, you can find more information on the issue.
Unmet Needs
Women and men may have different expectations of marriage. However, before entering into a union with a partner, each party expects to receive emotional, spiritual, and financial support. Not surprisingly, Forbes Advisor circles out the lack of family support as a common reason for divorce for women.
Also, gender differences in emotional perception can play a role. Based on the research, men tend to feel less confident in their emotional intelligence and often cannot express their emotions openly. It can make a wife think that something is wrong in the relationship and that she is not heard and understood. In extreme cases, it may even lead to a marriage breakup.
Husband’s Unfaithfulness
Although the phenomenon of women’s infidelity has become more common in the past decades, men are still the ones who cheat more. About 20% of married men are having an affair.
For women, a husband’s infidelity, whether it is physical or emotional, is the major reason to end a marriage. However, not all women file for divorce after discovering the first case of adultery. Some may believe that their partners will change and a couple will have a happy life together. However, even if the affair is over, the attitude to a husband will no longer be the same, which, in the long run, can make a wife consider divorce.
Physical and Emotional Violence
As statistics show, abusive behaviors in relationships are common today. Women become victims of domestic violence more often than men.
Domestic violence can happen in many ways. Verbal berating, passive-aggressive tone of voice, or belittling in a relationship are examples of emotional abuse. Physical abuse is easier to recognize as it is accompanied by physical or sexual harassment.
Abuse and divorce are strongly related. Even if women don’t go to court after the first fight, the repetitive cruel behavior of a husband is the number one reason to file for a marriage dissolution.
Women Often Have Nothing More to Lose
On average, only 27% of women regret about the ended marriage, compared to 39% of men.
In situations when women are being pressed and abused, the best decision to stop that is to file for a divorce. Even though it is often financially challenging for females, many choose to leave the unhappy marriage behind, no matter the consequences.
Another factor that makes women more confident in ending the relationship is that, in most cases, they can get sole or join custody of kids. Therefore, they may not be afraid of losing connection with their children and can start a new, happy life after the marriage is over.
Reasons Why Men Initiate Divorce
Why do men file for divorce? The reasons are various and may differ from those affecting wives’ decisions to end a marriage. Husbands can initiate marriage dissolution in a mid-life crisis, when there is no physical intimacy, when their wives cheat on them, etc. Let’s take a closer look at each of the reasons below.
Different Interests
At the beginning of the relationship, couples tend to share many interests. However, as time goes by, partners find new hobbies and develop new preferences. The child’s birth is often a game changer in both partners’ lives that influences their routines differently. A woman builds her life over a baby, and, at that time, a man develops interests that may not involve his wife. Thus, the spouses may become more distant. If no one tries to get closer and find something in common, and parties just share the same household, no wonder it may result in divorce.
Adultery
Another reason why men divorce their loved ones is because of infidelity. The research reveals that men are more likely to file for divorce on the ground of adultery. If females can sometimes rethink the decision and close their eyes to the cases of infidelity, for males, it is usually unacceptable. They typically react harshly to the unfaithfulness of their wives.
Lack of sex
The first years of marriage are full of passion and physical intimacy. However, it is natural that the feelings are not the same when the couple lives together for many years.
Sex is an integral part of a marital life. The research states that 51% of men would prefer to have sex every day, while only 7% of women would want that. How long will a man stay in a sexless marriage? It is quite difficult to predict as each case is unique.
Often, a husband lives in a sexless marriage and fails to raise his concerns and have open communication with his wife to find the way out. The sexless marriage effects on the husband can be in the form of feelings of anxiety, insecurity, low confidence, and underestimation. All these factors greatly contribute to the decision to get divorced.
Mid-Life Crisis
Men are prone to experience a mid-life crisis between 40 and 60. During that period, they may feel less happiness and satisfaction with life and wrongly believe that the reason for that is a family situation.
It was found that 47% of men who are in a mid-life crisis may neglect their appearance, lead a less active sexual life, and, consequently, are in danger of getting divorced. Males often start to rethink what they have achieved and what was not successful. Not all of them can find the courage to share their feelings with their wives. Instead, men become more detached, leading to a lack of communication and understanding, and, in some cases, to marriage dissolution.
To sum it up, both husbands and wives can initiate the marriage ending, and it is difficult to judge who benefits more from divorce. However, as statistics show, the cases when women decide to break up and file for divorce are very common recently.